What's Andy Cooking?

Wow! That was quite a post! You have some good goals there, but please do focus on local contacts. Take it from someone who has moved quite a bit (Ohio is state #4, you know): at some point you have to let go and allow yourself to really be a part of the community. I know that it feels "foreign", but it is also home and the more you cling to the idea of Western Washington, the harder it can become for you to feel good where you are now.

Good goals, though!

BTW brewing beer is fun but very, very stinky!

Hello. I happend upon your site and have been reading your back posts. As a North Carolina Native I cannot help but be very insulted. It may be foreign to you, at attitude which makes me NEVER want to visit Seattle, but people are people and kids are kids. You cannot go blindly through life acting as if everything is temporary and swearing allegiance to your precious Takoma or whatever.

I, too, am a teacher and have never struggled as much as you, but that is because I had more time to prepare. You should know, however, that we are not all poor, ignorant, rednecks which is how we come across in this blog of yours. You should also know that there is much to experience here in the Carolinas if you would only open your prejudiced eyes. If you ever wonder why you feel like you don't fit in you should know that it is because you refuse to do so. Go back to Washington if you love it so much but you will be depriving yourself of a chance to help others and learn and grow.

I have lived all over the country and spent time in places like Atlanta, Kansas City, Fresno, St. Paul, Philadelphia, Bangor, Providence, Baltimore, Santa Fe, Las Vegas and Dallas, but have never felt so alone and alientated as you seem to feel. That is sad. You need to allow yourself to be happy.

I know nothing about Teach For America other than the fact that it is greatly disliked in many school districts but from what I can tell it is well-intentioned. But obviously they do not teach their employees about the beauty of diversity of place.

Ummm . . . is this a joke?

Sorry to have offended you. I really don't hate North Carolina. And I really don't think all the people here are poor, ignorant rednecks. But I have had a few experiences with a few choice people that I think are funny enough to record.

If you would like to learn more about why I feel so alone and alienated, you are welcome to give me your real email, and I can send you a more detailed account of my life here so far.

For someone who is so adamant that I have no right to judge others, it seems you're quick to cast a stone my direction. How does that help your case that North Carolinians are nice folk?

Well Caroline, you must feel pretty special for having been able to go to all of those places and fit right in. Kudos to you and your happy-go-lucky lifestyle. Unfortunately OTHER people struggle with such things; shyness and social anxiety cause many problems for many, many people. They do for me. It's easy enough for you to sit up on your horse and say "suck it up and get out there!" But it's not so simple. It's a good thing you'll never have to experience that, but how dare you be so quick to judge someone while in the same breath accuse that person of being judgemental?

Andy is a friend of mine and I've followed his blog too--really followed it, not just skimmed the back pages--and he's treated Carolina and its people with nothing but respect. It's a beautiful state with kind people. What he's chosen to articulate on this blog are the foibles and differences of opinion he's encountered as a person coming from the near-exact opposite side of the country. This is a big country, with many extremes, some of which we encounter with a great deal of sketicism. It's only natural.

And it's funny that now you've written off Washington based on the writings of one guy. Too bad. It's a beautiful place too.

Wow. Oh things here never cease to amaze me...

I have not been on here in over a week and… wow… there’s been quite a bit of dialogue. Nice response, Jack! You, too, Andy! I especially liked your comment: “I have had a few experiences with a few choice people that I think are funny enough to record.” People forget that a huge element of blogging is to showcase your writing while recording memories. Funny is funny and it’s what often makes a blog worth reading. I mean, come on, if you read most of what I wrote about Boston, you’d think it filled with homeless people. (Although, come to think of it, it kind of is…)

As to the drama, I just have to say that our sense of “place” can be very important – especially to those who have grown-up or spent a significant amount of time in one place. “Place” can leave an indelible imprint on our lives and often define our sense of self. Hence, people can be highly, highly defensive of their homeland. And this is neither good nor bad – it merely is. We can either embrace it or reject it, but there are seeds of “place” within us whether we like it or not.

Sadly, I don’t think a strong sense of “place” on a personal level. I spent the my first eighteen of life in Southern California. (Okay, technically 17.5, but I remember nothing of my infancy in the Philippines.) I traveled a lot in the US and Europe, but essentially it was all about the LA area. After moving to Washington (Tacoma) to go to college, La Crescenta began to feel less and less like home to me and Tacoma felt more and more like home. Yet, at the same time, I was never really a “Northwest Native” as Washingtonians are over-fond of pointing out. I lived in Tacoma for over ten years and have never (neither before nor after) felt as deeply ingrained in a community. Jesus! I felt like I knew everyone. When I worked at Borders it even became a joke – people said, “you can’t go a full day without running into someone who knows Michelle”.

That said, after moving to Boston, Tacoma began to feel a bit “foreign”, too. I loved Boston. I even love Ohio in its own quiet way. It’s all good, wherever you go and there is beauty everywhere, but I know that it can be very daunting as well. A sense of community is not created overnight and it can be very difficult to fit in – especially when the majority of the people you know (in your case, Andy, your colleagues in the program) are also from out of the area. And sometimes you might simply realize that you are better off someplace else. Caroline seemed to think it was “easy” to fit in, but she never said why she was there or what she was doing. That makes all the difference. I’ve never found it too difficult to fit in but I’ve always had either college (UPS) or Borders (the store in Boston was like a family) or something to make the transition easier. Plus, I’m married (to Jesus, from the looks of him) and so I get respect. (LOL)

I will say this though, of all the places I’ve ever lived or visited, Washington (especially the Seattle area) is one of the most insular. That is not, necessarily, a criticism but the place is very “native” oriented. Aside from the South (where I have not lived for an extended period), it is the only place I’ve been there is a genuine feeling of “I-am-from-here-and-you-are-not-and-our-way-is-the-only-way-because-we-don’t-care-about-anyplace-else”. It is the only place where I’ve seen great resentment from the (comparatively moderate) growth explosion and economic boom of the late 80’s early 90’s. I always wanted to remind people who naively complained about people moving in from out of state that: A) the economy of the region was near collapse before the birth of Microsoft and the upswing of Boeing and B) twice as many people move from WA to CA every year than visa versa. But the truth is, people in the Northwest were just not accustomed to economic prosperity and to people moving into the area – it’s much like the South in that respect.

But that just further illustrates the point that people can be defensive of their native territory. And, in the areas that experienced at least moderate growth during the 1990’s (especially the Carolinas, Atlanta, Texas, the Northwest, the Northeast, the Southwest, and, most of all, Northern and to a lesser extend Southern, CA), there could be some backlash. We’ve certainly seen that in Seattle, haven’t we? All I am saying is that, in a sense, Caroline (whoever she is) can be forgiven for being so defensive about her home state. Andy, you would be, too!

Caroline also said something interesting and that was, “I know nothing about Teach For America other than the fact that it is greatly disliked in many school districts but from what I can tell it is well-intentioned. But obviously they do not teach their employees about the beauty of diversity of place.” What struck me about that statement (other than the misuse of capitalization) was what might be seen as defensiveness. If you think about it, it does not speak highly of an area to have Teach for America teachers there. After all, the whole point of the program is to go where other people don’t want to be and to provide a quality education to impoverished, underprivileged (especially rural or inner-city) areas of the country. To tell the truth, having a Teach for America presence speaks for itself as to the neediness of an area. Perhaps part of what Caroline felt was shame. I have no idea, I don’t even know who she is and only know her through a single written statement, but that’s my guess. I’m also guessing that she made that negative comment about Seattle as a petty retaliation but, again, I have absolutely no idea if that’s true.

Whatever. I apologize for this being over-long and rambling. I’m enjoying a rare moment of boredom at work today while I’m waiting for a response on something. So I’m trying to fill the moments of stasis by writing to Andy.

I hope that the school year is going well thus far and that you have a good set-up!

Love ya,

Michelle