Last night, I discovered that our mouse had found its way into my bedroom sometime in the last week. This discovery came when the daring little devil scurried into my closet while I sat only inches away at my desk.
Almost immediately I was upon him, fully clad in ski gloves and a thick jacket. I routed the devil closer to the doorway, tossing aside debris as I uncovered the many levels of his lair. Finaly, I worked him down to the hardwood and exposed the beast. He froze for an instant, and hissed in the blinding beam of my headlamp. Then he bolted for the doorway.
Fearlessly, I leapt at him, and with a fury that the closet hadn't seen in many a year. I had him in my grasp, and with lightning speed, I drew him to the edge of the house, and set him in flight into the yard.
My victory assured, I returned to my study.
Within an hours time, however, the beast returned to disrupt my quiet solitude. With the faint tussling of a plastic bag that had been strewn across the floor in the previous battle, he declared his daring claim on the closet across the room and scurried away.
Again, I donned my battle garb, this time with the resolve to hurl the beast across the street to his demise. As I tossed aside the empty boxes which made his grand fortress, he gave a cry.
"Victory shall never come to you!" he let forth arrogantly, as if to strengthen his own resolve in the saying, "You can never be rid of me!" It was an empty threat.
With a new fever, and a fell disposition, I came upon the very foundation of his fortress, and as I lifted the cardboard away, a shadow of doom fell upon my heart.
For the beast was vanished without a trace (beyond his vile excrement).
I screamed a cry of unfinished battle and fell to my knees, my tears swelling from the devil's unjust victory. It was in this position that I happened to spot a small hole in the corner of the closet. It was the foul cave of the beast's escape, and immediately I covered the entrance with a force greater in strength and gravity than ten mice could move!
It was thusly that I sealed the fate of the fell beast, and gained a new victory over his arrogance and develish courage.
With that, I returned to my study, and slept last night with a fresh feeling of safety from any beast the devil could ever conjure.
Andy 2, Beast 867
This reminds me of my battle with the "biggest bug ever", culminating in me trapping the thing in a glass bottle and setting it free outside, a fair distance from my house.
I liked the writing Andy.
Posted by: Shane at March 22, 2004 2:20 PMHey, it's the communist way, right Shane?
Thanks for re-affirming the stereotypical image I have of every good Texan, Trent.
Posted by: andy at March 28, 2004 9:16 PMtrue to form, true to form.
Posted by: shane at April 1, 2004 4:11 PM
To beat a mouse, you've got to outsmart it. This sounds silly, because it's a damn mouse, but they are wily ones.
I like to place a plate of peanut butter, jelly, sugar, or something else that I feel like a mouse might want to eat on a small plate in the middle of the kitchen, suspend myself mission-impossible style from the ceiling with a cable right over the plate, and just wait the mouse out. You might end up being suspended from your ceiling for days on end, but believe you me, the sense of satisfaction you gain when that mouse is in your clutches is priceless.
Posted by: jankowski at March 22, 2004 6:49 AM